“I Didn’t Ask For This, God!”

This is day 11 of 31 Days of Songs and Stories.  For an index of all the posts in the series, click here.

Today I’m delighted to feature a guest post from Shauna Blaak.  


“I didn’t ask for this, God!”

It seemed to be my theme song for the first few years of living in South Africa. Where was the glamour of international living? Where were the supernatural miracles of being a “missionary”? Why was this sooo hard?

I missed my family immensely, especially when the culture shock hit. I missed my friends―they never misunderstood my intentions. I missed my grocery store with its familiar brands and flavours. I missed my doctor and the brands of medicine I knew and trusted. I missed ‘my people.’ I missed Home.

Corrie Ten Boom said that “The safest place to be is in the centre of God’s will” and I agree. But I would also add that SAFE and EASY are two different things. Just because you are doing what God has called you to do, doesn’t mean that it’s going to be EASY. In my experience, obeying God has been the most difficult and expensive thing we’ve ever done… and the most life-giving!

Let me clarify… In January 2007, my husband and I packed our house into storage and moved with 12 suitcases, 11 carry-ons, and 4 small children to sunny South Africa to be worship pastors in an international church. Starry-eyed, full of faith, and passionate about serving God in this corner of the world, Jeffreys Bay was the location, and Victory Church was the venue.

It didn’t take long for the reality of international living to hit us square in the face. Culture shock, language issues, homesickness, and political red-tape were just a few of the issues we faced. In those moments, the enemy would torment us with “Quit! You never asked for this.”

But God is so gracious, isn’t He? And He stands watch over His Word to perform it. He takes us step-by-step from where we are to where He wants us to be. He fights on our behalf against ALL of the opposing forces in our lives.

What exactly are we fighting?

1.   We fight preconceived ideas and false expectations

When things don’t go as expected, it’s easy to become disillusioned and want to quit. But that’s the problem; we become dis-illusioned because we believed an illusion in the first place. Bring your expectations back to Father and let Him shed His light on them. Let Him give you accurate vision and clear strategy.

2.   We fight outright evil

Whether it be in the form of a petty thief that grabs your handbag out of your car, or robbers that invade your safe place in the night, evil is real―but angels are even more so! Ask Father to open your spiritual eyes to see, so you can declare like Elisha, “Fear not! For those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” (2 Kings 6:16)

3.   We fight homesickness

I know this may sound strange, but it’s true. Sentimentality is NOT your friend when you are on the front lines. Don’t allow the good things in your life to call you back from the place of obedience. Pursue ‘God-things,’ not just good things.

4.   We fight powers and principalities

I’m referring to anything that opposes the Kingdom of God in every sphere of society. Whether resistance comes from legislators, government officials, or the disgruntled worker who refuses to approve your visa, there is an assignment from the enemy to resist and discourage you.

The Weapon of My Warfare = WORSHIP!

It’s in these moments of struggle and resistance that the song “In Jesus Name” has become my anthem! Darlene Zschech wrote it during her battle with cancer, and when I sing it, my entire being cries out “I will NOT QUIT!”


God is fighting for us, God is on our side
He has overcome, yes, He has overcome
We will not be shaken, we will not be moved
Jesus, You are here

I will live, I will not die
The resurrection pow’r of Christ alive in me
And I am free in Jesus’ name
I will live, I will not die
I will declare and lift You high. Christ revealed
And I am healed in Jesus’ name

God is fighting for us, pushing back the darkness
Lighting up the Kingdom that cannot be shaken
In the Name of Jesus, enemy’s defeated
And we will shout it out, shout it out

What a powerful weapon we have at our disposal, to declare that God is our WayMaker in the midst of any opposition and discouragement! This is MY song. I sing it in the car. I sing it in the shower. I sing it when we make yet another futile trip to Home Affairs. I will not quit!


God is fighting for us, and we can trust Him to make a way where there is no other way!

And He’s fighting for you too!

shauna-profile-picShauna is a Canadian writer, teacher, and singer who has lived in South Africa for almost ten years. Together with her husband, Erwin, they lead the Worship Ministry at Victory Church in Jeffreys Bay. With four amazing teenagers who keep them hopping, life is never boring.


You can find her at www.blaaklistwriters.com.



linking with #RaRaLinkUp and Tell His Story



12 thoughts on ““I Didn’t Ask For This, God!”

  1. Thanks so much, Lesley! Such a privilege to be included in your 31 Day Series. I love that you are celebrating how God uses worship and music to encourage, strengthen, and deliver people! Awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post, Shauna! I think your first point about expectation management is so important. We get ourselves in a lot of trouble expecting the illusion, and then being disappointed. Praise God for the work He is doing through your family! Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. i can so identify with this post shauna. we lived in jamaica for 7 years in the 1970’s. doesn’t sound like a hard place to live does it? in many ways, it wasn’t, but it was a 3rd world country that often had shortages of important things in the grocery store…sugar, flour, etc. i was able to identify with all the things you mentioned including homesickness…especially after the sudden death of my dad about 1/2 way through that period. the years were good ones. during our 6th year, we were in the US for some study for my husband and realized that JA was home, not the US. we returned ready to be there for a long time to come. surprisingly, after the election, the party that was more socialistic won, none of our work permits were renewed and we had to leave at the end of that school year:(

    it has been a great ride since then however and it was great preparation for continued ministry.

    loved your post:)

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s