Identity: Finding The Proverbs 31 Woman

Today’s post is a little bit different from usual.  I’m featuring a guest post from Shauna Blaak.  Shauna and first I connected through Five Minute Friday.  We share a love of music and worship, and last October she contributed a post to my 31 Days of Songs and Stories series.  

Shauna has just released her first book- “IDENTITY- Finding the Proverbs 31 Woman in the Middle of Kid Chaos.”  This post shares an extract from the book and explains what led her to write it.

IDENTITY - Front Cover medium

The Proverbs 31 Woman―you either love her, or you hate her. She will either inspire you to greatness, or she will remind you of your weakness.

Rising early, working late? No thanks. I can’t compete with that. I am definitely not a morning person. Does that really mean that I’m NOT a Proverbs 31 Woman too?

Great. More guilt!

Years ago, when the kids were little, I remember having a conversation with the Father in the middle of Walmart, of all places. (Yes, God shops at Walmart.)

I had been complaining to Him about how busy I was. I couldn’t compete with all of the other SuperMoms around me who ‘really had it together.’ I wasn’t rich enough. I wasn’t smart enough. I wasn’t skinny enough. I wasn’t popular enough.

I remember saying, “Sheesh, God. Proverbs 31 sucks. It’s not fair that I have to do ALL of this stuff and Erwin doesn’t. He just gets to be the husband and be served all the time. I’m so tired. I can’t keep doing this.” 

In hindsight, I realize now that Erwin had never demanded these things of me. It was I who put unrealistic expectations on myself, trying desperately to be the ‘good wife.’ I was trying to live up to the Proverbs 31 Woman and exhausting myself in the process. No wonder I didn’t like her.

Out-of-the-blue, I had one of those almost-audible moments of hearing God’s voice. This is what He said,

“Shauna, you are ALREADY a Proverbs 31 Woman. You see those boots in your cart?”

(I had about six pairs of winter boots in my shopping cart. Walmart was having an incredible end-of-the-season sale, so I was buying every size available because I knew that at least one of my four kids would need them next year.)

“Well, that’s just like verse 15, ‘She rises early and provides for the needs of her household.’  It’s not about being a morning person and working yourself to death—it’s about foreseeing the needs of your family BEFORE THEY ARE EVEN AWARE OF THEIR NEED.

“Your kids don’t even know they need boots next winter, but you do. You ARE a Proverbs 31 Woman!

“I’m proud of you!”

That moment RADICALLY changed my perspective on Proverbs 31 and my abilities as a wife and mother.

I realized that I had been looking at this all wrong. It’s not about working harder and performing better. Proverbs 31 isn’t a crazy ‘To Do List’ that I have to get done in one day. NO!

Proverbs 31 is a BLANK CHEQUE of purpose and destiny that I GET to accomplish in my lifetime!

What, seriously?

·    I GET to buy and sell land.

·    I GET to be creative and profitable.

·    I GET to be strong and beautiful.

That’s awesome! I’ll take it!



Let’s be honest here, COMPARISON is the silent killer of most women, isn’t it? Comparing ourselves with the SuperMom down the street, or worse yet, the SuperMom on Facebook or some mommy blog. It’s no wonder that many of us slip into silent depression and give up hope altogether.

But my friends, we don’t need to live that way any longer. The enemy has been a master at speaking death to us for far too long. It is high time that we hear the Words of Life that our Father speaks over us.

That’s exactly why I wrote, “IDENTITY: Finding the Proverbs 31 Woman in the Middle of Kid Chaos.”

We don’t have to hate her anymore. We don’t even have to compete with her. This creative and interactive study into IDENTITY and finding out WHO GOD SAYS WE ARE will have each of us breathing a sigh of relief.

You’ll love this book on your own, but you’ll love it even more when you do it together with friends. Perfect for Mommy groups and Ladies Bible Studies.

Find yourself in the unconditional love of a Good Father!

You can find out more about Shauna’s book here, and you can also find it on Amazon at these links: UK, US.

shauna-profile-picShauna is happily married to her college sweetheart, Erwin, and they have four teenage children. For the last decade, they have been living in South Africa and pastoring the worship ministry at Victory Church in Jeffreys Bay. She knows better than most the challenges that come with being the SuperMom of an International Family, and she has a wealth of wisdom to share with other moms who are perhaps asking themselves, “Who the heck am I now?”

Embracing Every Day  “God-Sized       lmml-button-2

18 thoughts on “Identity: Finding The Proverbs 31 Woman

  1. Thank you, Shauna, for this preparation for all the Mother’s Day sermons on Proverbs 31! I especially appreciated your thoughts on comparison. There are SO many ways to be a good mum and a good P31 woman that there’s only freedom and encouragement offered up in that little chapter of God’s Word. So sad that it gets used for other things . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so true, Michele! Over the years, the enemy has twisted this beautiful little passage to be something that brings guilt and shame instead of life and encouragement. In fact, in my studies, I discovered that it was initially written for men, not women. It was the men that attended school. And this passage was written in a sing-song poem that could be easily memorized so that they could go home and praise their wives more accurately and creatively. Wow! We need to shake off the pressure to perform and just walk with our Father!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. For sure, comparison is a killer. I’d love to see how the Proverbs 31 woman would navigate the demands of 2017, social media, instant gratification.

    We still learn much from her wisdom even though culture has changed.

    Thanks, Lesley and Shauna …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for your comments, Linda. It’s true! Accurately applying Scripture to our lives in 2017 is our biggest challenge. (Shhhh… don’t tell anyone, but I will NEVER spin wool and flax 😜) Haha!

      I’ve actually created a free “Companion Guide To Finding the Proverbs 31 Woman” for my subscribers that explores this very issue in depth. Learning to read Scripture with fresh eyes. You are very welcome to head over there to get a copy. What a joy to discover that His plans are sooo much better for us than our wildest imagination!

      God bless you as you journey toward making friends with the Proverbs 31 Woman. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Shauna and Lesley! I love the idea of being a Proverbs woman by buying all those boots at Walmart! I think we all are planners for our families, without even knowing it!
    I agree that comparison is the way to despair and feeling bad about myself. I know I still do it WAY too much, but this post encourages me to realize that I am enough. And that I can do great things for my family and for God.


    1. Thank you so much, Ceil! I’m so glad that you were encouraged by my story. I’d be lying if I said that I’d mastered the concept of “being enough.” In fact, the last few weeks before pressing ‘publish’ on this book were the most intense weeks of battling insecurity, comparison, and jealousy! Crazy, really. The enemy loves to hit us in the place of our vulnerability. Thankfully, we have a good, good Father who LOVES to remove those lies and labels, and replace them with His truth and promises!
      God bless you in your journey! ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  4. My friend, thank you again for the privilege of sharing my story with your dear readers! It’s such an honour and I don’t take it for granted at all. ❤️

    And I pray a blessing on all of your various writing projects underway right now. May you hear His voice clearly and feel His creativity coursing through you.
    Have a great week!


    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love what God taught you about the Proverbs 31 woman, Shauna. As my children grew up, I always felt so inadequate as I read that verse. So thank you for helping me to see it through a different perspective. Love and hugs to you, Lesley and Shauna!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are very welcome, Trudy. I am so glad that my story could encourage you this week. The enemy works overtime on us moms to make us feel like failures. God has so much hope and encouragement for us, and we dearly need to tune our ears to His Words of Life.

      May you have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

      Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s so true, Kathy. Although age and wisdom help, I find that the enemy still likes to hit me when I’m weak. (e.g., the weeks before pressing ‘publish.’) The beautiful thing about allowing God’s Word to define us is that it doesn’t depend on our emotions—it’s not about positive thinking—it doesn’t matter how I feel—it’s about truth! And God’s thoughts about us are soooo much better than our own!
      God bless you on your journey.
      Have a lovely weekend!


  6. Comparison is definitely like skating on thin ice. Before you know it, you’re plunging deep into the icy, cold depths of despair, discontent, and depression. Not that I’d know from experience or anything. 😉

    Thanks for sharing this review at Literacy Musing Mondays. I guess I’ve always seen the Proverbs 31 Woman as a positive thing since I feel the same way about my mom. If someone were to ask me about her, I’d say lots of things like King Lemuel (I think that’s who wrote it?) said. Even though my mom isn’t perfect, I tend to focus on all the positive things since I love her so much!


    1. Haha, Brandi, I love your sense of humour. Your mom sounds lovely! 💕

      I’ve found that the biggest challenge with identity isn’t whether or not we have good examples in our lives, but whether we’ve believe a lie. I have a wonderful mom, but somewhere along the line I believed the lie that I wasn’t good enough to please God (and everyone else). Sounds silly when I write it out like that, but that’s what happened.
      Thankfully, we have a Good Father who is in the business of replacing lies with His TRUTH! I’m so grateful for His Word that brings LIFE!
      Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂


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