When You Can’t Accept It…

This post is written to link with Five Minute Friday- write for five minutes on a one-word prompt.  The prompt today is “accept.”

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Sometimes it’s easier just to accept it than to fight.  I tell myself it doesn’t really matter, it’s not that big a deal, it’s not worth the hassle.  Just accept it- anything for a quiet life.

And then there are times, like today, when I can’t accept it, when I have to stand up for myself and tell someone politely but firmly that I disagree, and that I can’t just accept it quietly.  I need to discuss it.  I need for my voice to be heard.

It doesn’t come naturally to me to fight.  The people-pleasing, conflict-avoiding side of me just wants to let it go.  I want to be liked; I don’t want this person to be annoyed with me because I might have accepted it in the past but now I choose to question it.

But as Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes:

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven… a time to be quiet and a time to speak.”  (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7)

Today seemed like a time to speak.  And I don’t think my words were very well-received… but I guess they rarely are when you begin questioning something the other person just wants you to accept.

The discussion is still on-going and I hate the feeling that the situation is unresolved, but even if my point-of-view is not taken on board, at least I have the satisfaction of knowing I tried.

In moments like these, where a huge part of me wants to give in and accept it but I feel I have to stand my ground, I need to constantly remind myself that it is God’s opinion that really counts and that, whatever anyone else might say, he offers unconditional love and complete acceptance.

“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.  God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.  He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.”  (Ephesians 1:4-7 NLT)

 

34 thoughts on “When You Can’t Accept It…

  1. I’m a champion conflict avoider as well, so can relate to this post very well. I find as I’ve gotten older I’m able to discern better when to speak and when to stay silent but I think it will be a life long process. Love the song!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. In that learning curve with you, Lesley. It can be very costly, but I don’t think we will ever regret following a Holy Spirit nudge to speak up. Hugs! I’ve been through times like that a lot lately- it is not easy.

    I used to always be the conflict avoider- God is growing me though, as He is you, to speak truth in love.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m with ya. I avoid conflict like the plague (childhood trauma= constant fighting). It’s hard to stand up and speak, even when you know you’re supposed to. I was in a similar situation this summer, after being the people-pleaser yes-woman I finally had to speak up and say NO. It was not well-received, but I had to take control back, even if it caused conflict. It was worth it. It may not feel worth it now in the heat of the conflict, but standing up for yourself will be worth it.

    Visiting from FMF! Lovely post. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. From a fellow champion conflict avoider, I get this. Speaking up is not easy, but sometimes it is right. I hope this situation is quickly resolved and relationships are stronger as a result.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This was a REALLY good word for me today; it got me thinking about a specific situation in which I may (or may not, I’m still not sure!) need to speak up.

    I am definitely the “let it go” type — don’t make waves, don’t rock the boat … and then I often regret not speaking out. I totally agree that there is a time to speak and a time not to — and when the situation is unacceptable, it probably means we must say what needs saying, hard as it is (for me the barrier is always fear). Thanks for the reminder and good example to speak out when it’s the right thing to do.

    Jeannie (#54 in the linkup)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad it got you thinking, Jeannie, and that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Praying for wisdom for your situation and that you know whether or not it’s time to speak up.

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  6. Loved your post Lesley! Good for you in going beyond acceptance when needed. I go along to get along when I feel the need, and am learning when to speak up. Still kind of difficult. I have issues I am still working out. When I was younger I would just accept without question and that led me to a lot of pain. Then I went to the other extreme and just wouldn’t remotely bend because I had been hurt too much. Finding that balance is where I am at now. I pray that everything resolves well for you.
    Have a beautiful day and blessed week!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Kelly! I agree, finding the balance is really tricky. In this situation I was worried in case I was making too much of it but I have asked a few people’s advice and they all think I am doing the right thing so yes, I hope it will be resolved soon. Hope you have a great week too!

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  7. Hi Lesley! I think you are very brave. It’s so hard to press on with I think when, as you said, the recipient thinks everyone agrees with them. (Why would anyone think that in the first place??) It’s hard to hear another opinion and respect it, especially if it’s so opposed to our own thoughts. But that’s a part of life. We aren’t all the same. And we aren’t all fully informed on what we think either.
    My hat’s off to you my friend. It’s okay to express your opinion! After all, that’s what your friend was doing, right?
    God’s peace and blessings,
    Ceil

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Ceil! It is hard because I just want to discuss it so that we can come to some agreement but they seem to just think their view is right and don’t like me questioning it. Hopefully they will be open to talk about it soon!

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