Dear Younger Me,
I love your curiosity, the interest you take in people, and your thirst to understand. I feel your frustration when people tell you the world’s not as black and white as you might like it to be. I get your longing to understand why.
I don’t think you’ll ever lose that desire – in fact you’ll spend significant chunks of your life trying to understand why, but here are some things I’ve learned.
Sometimes there are no answers. Certain things are beyond our understanding. Sometimes we’ll never know why.
I know that’s not what you want to hear, and I don’t think my second point will be any easier.
The root of wanting to know why is a desire for control. If you can understand why, you can fix it, or prevent it from happening again (or so you think). You can understand how to orchestrate situations to your advantage. You can make things right.
But here’s the truth: there will always be things outwith your control. And the true answer is not found in understanding or knowledge or effort, but in surrender.
I know that sounds crazy – it will be a long, hard fight to get you to that point, but one day you’ll see what I mean.
In the meantime, don’t be afraid to keep asking why. God is not afraid of your questions, and while you may not find all the answers you seek, it is in the searching that you will find him.
Let me finish with an encouragement: one day it will all make sense.
“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” (1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT)
For now, learn to rest in the unknowing, knowing that he knows, and that one day there will be no more whys.
This post is part of “Dear Younger Me…” – a series for Write 31 Days in October 2019.
Each day I am basing my writing on the one-word prompt provided. Today the prompt is “why.” You can find an introduction to the series and an index of all the posts here, and you can find out more about the challenge and check out other people’s series here.